Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
How would you feel if you weren’t afraid?
“Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement.” – Brené Brown
UNLOCK YOUR TEEN’S POTENTIAL WITH ZEN ZONE’S 8-WEEK PROGRAM. EMPOWERMENT. RESILIENCE, AND GROWTH MINDSET FOR YEARS 10-12. STRESS RELIEF & MINDSET TRANSFORMATION
As a concerned parent and a mental health professional, I have observed with growing concern the rising challenges that our teens face in today’s fast-paced and demanding world. From academic pressures to social expectations, teens are often overwhelmed by a myriad of stressors that can take a toll on their mental well-being. It’s no secret that mental health concerns among teens, such as anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues, are on the rise.
One of the primary factors contributing to these challenges is the immense pressure placed on teens, especially those in their senior years (years 10, 11 & 12). As parents, we often invest in tutoring and academic support to help our teens keep up with the rigorous school workload and prepare for exams. While academic support is undoubtedly essential, it’s equally crucial to address the underlying mindset and emotional resilience of our teens.
Many teens struggle with self-sabotage and self-deprecating limiting beliefs that hinder their ability to thrive and reach their full potential. Beliefs such as “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do it,” or “what’s the point” can create significant barriers to their success and well-being. Simply providing academic support without addressing these mindset challenges is like treating the symptoms without addressing the root cause.
This is where “Zen Zone” comes in—a tailored online program designed specifically for teens in years 10, 11 & 12. Zen Zone is not just another tutoring service or academic program; it’s a holistic approach to empower teens, foster resilience, and cultivate a growth mindset.
So, what exactly is Zen Zone, and what can participants expect from this transformative 8-week program?
First and foremost, Zen Zone focuses on equipping teens with practical tools and techniques to manage stress and anxiety effectively. From mindfulness practices to relaxation techniques, participants will learn how to calm their minds, regulate their emotions, and navigate challenging situations with resilience.
But Zen Zone goes beyond stress reduction—it’s about rewiring the mindset. Through expert guidance from a Certified EFT practitioner and psychotherapist, teens will uncover and challenge their limiting beliefs. They will learn to replace self-sabotaging thoughts with empowering beliefs, such as “I am capable,” “I embrace challenges as opportunities for growth,” and “I believe in my potential.”
A key component of Zen Zone is the supportive peer community it offers. Teens will have the opportunity to connect with like-minded peers, share their experiences, and support each other’s growth journey. This sense of belonging and camaraderie can be incredibly empowering for teens who may feel isolated or misunderstood in their struggles.
Each week of the program is carefully structured to address different aspects of mental well-being and personal development. From building self-confidence to enhancing communication skills and fostering a positive self-image, Zen Zone covers a comprehensive range of topics essential for teen empowerment.
By the end of the 8-week program, participants can expect tangible outcomes, including:
• Increased self-awareness and emotional intelligence
• Improved stress management skills
• Enhanced self-confidence and self-esteem
• A more positive and growth-oriented mindset
• Practical strategies for overcoming challenges and setbacks
• A supportive network of peers and mentors
Ultimately, Zen Zone is about empowering teens to not just survive but thrive in today’s challenging environment. It’s about equipping them with the tools, mindset, and support they need to navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience, confidence, and a sense of purpose.
As parents and caregivers, investing in our teens’ mental well-being is one of the most valuable investments we can make. Together, let’s create a generation of empowered, resilient, and mentally healthy teens who are ready to face the world with confidence and optimism. Join us in the Zen Zone and unlock your teen’s full potential!
I know so many of us have been grateful to see the back of 2020! For many of us it was a year fraught with overwhelm, fear, loss of control and anxiety. Whilst we are still uncertain of what a new year will bring on a global level, on a personal level we always have the opportunity to step into hope and co-create 12 new chapters and 365 new chances.
When we reflect upon and review our lessons from 2020 we can choose to resist change, try to control everything, cling to our fears and recreate more of the same OR we can move towards new moments, new adventures, new lessons, new thoughts, new memories and new opportunities.
Dear future I am ready
Are you ready for change? If the answer is yes then ask yourself:
What do I need to let go of?
How do I want to feel in 2021?
And where am I stuck?
Many of the clients I work with at The Inner Shine Clinic find themselves stuck in fear and anxiety. Feeling in control of our own lives and having certainty about jobs, relationships, finances and our personal freedom and liberties offers us a sense of safety and security. It makes perfect sense that when things feel out of control personally and globally, our bodies and brain receive chemical and electrical impulses to warn us that everything is NOT OK. Our bodies and brain then respond to these high stress situations and process the information we receive in fight, flight or freeze responses. Luckily our amazing bodies can handle small amounts of these stress responses but when it’s continuous the brain goes into overdrive and leads to anxiety which is what a lot of us are experiencing right now.
Anxiety is incredibly debilitating and has a massive impact on our health. One in three women and one in five men suffer from anxiety. It impacts on our health mentally, emotionally, physically and it comes takes a huge toll on people financially when they are unable to work and have significant medical bills. On a holistic level anxiety can lead to a break down in trust and connection in self and with others, leaving us feeling isolated, alone and scared. If you have been feeling anxious please know you are not alone. Now with a new year ahead of us it is so crucial that we really take time to find relief from anxiety and overwhelm. The great news is that anxiety is not who we are or what happens to us – it’s our response to what happens and response is something we can choose.
The truth is; within you, you have the ability to feel grounded, regulated and calm just by tapping on acupressure points on the face and body. This sends a calming signal to the brain allowing you to address and resolve underlying issues at the root of the issue. EFT Tapping or Emotional Freedom Techniques is a therapeutic evidence-based technique that can quickly and effectively reduce feelings of anxiety, with long lasting effects. It also enables you to rewire the neural pathways of your brain for more optimal beliefs.
Imagine being able to change how you feel in a short space of time and put the power back into your own two hands quite literally. Imagine feeling empowered to live 2021 full of purpose – becoming the best version of yourself and finding the calm within! Wouldn’t you want that for yourself? Beautiful, You are deserving and you are worthy!
EFT Tapping or Emotional Freedom techniques is a form of energy psychology or energy medicine used to create balance in your energy system and release negative emotions, physical pain and emotional distress. As a certified EFT Practitioner as well as a registered clinical social worker and holistic counsellor, I bring EFT into my sessions with my clients because it works and I have seen amazing and long lasting results with my clients who use tapping for anxiety. If you are completely new to EFT Tapping please refer to my website and previous blogs to learn more about the history of EFT and how it works.
February and March 2021 will be huge months for The Inner Shine Clinic as the 13th Annual Tapping World Summit starts 22nd February (23rd here in Australia) and for the first time ever I am presenting on “Tapping to release Anxiety: how to Help your mind and body finally relax”.
Registering for the Tapping summit many years ago is what got me to the place I am today. A friend had recommended I sign up, so I did and it changed my life and my life purpose and as they say, the rest is history. I’m SO excited and humbled to have been invited to speak at this global event on Day 8 with some of the biggest rockstars in the world of EFT and energy medicine including Australia’s own Dr Peta Stapleton, Carol Look, Marie Forleo, Iyanla Vanzant, Brad Yates, Donna Eden, Cheryl Richardson, Dawson Church and many more. It’s a dream come true and I don’t want you to miss out on this free 10 day online event! It will be an incredible way to propel forward in your life and to feel confident, calm and connected as we navigate these uncertain times.
In my presentation I will teach you about:
Simple and creative forms of Tapping to calm and reset your nervous system
How asking the right questions can help you have a powerful tapping experience
How to feel grounded and centred once again when anxiety begins to overwhelm you
To register now for this FREE empowering event CLICK HERE and look for me on day 8:
October 9th is PANS/PANDAS Awareness Day. PANS stands for Paediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome and PANDAS stands for Paediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections.
It’s crazy to think that just over a year ago I’d never even heard of this condition and now I research and speak to experts in this field almost every day because this condition is destroying my little boy’s brain and tearing my family apart.
Today’s post is personal because I want people to understand this condition and to become aware of the crisis families with PANS/PANDAS children experience. It may also help others to identify the symptoms of this little known, hugely misunderstood but extremely debilitating condition.
Although caused by a medical or environmental condition (strep, mycoplasma, bio toxins, mould, Bartonella etc.) I’m including this in Mental Health Awareness Month because understanding PANS & PANDAS is understanding the interplay of immune system and mental health.
This is the first time I’ve shared this personal story but it’s time to come out of the shadows.
In March of last year my rambunctious, high energy but largely neuro-typical 4 year old son, suddenly changed – I mean literally overnight. At first we though he was just displaying some behavioural issues but over the year, his symptoms and presentation just got more and more disturbing and concerning.
All of a sudden he had insomnia like he was being driven by a motor sometimes until 3am after always sleeping 7pm-7am.
He displayed out-of-control tantrums, new phobias every day, sensory abnormalities, age inappropriate behaviour, rage, obsessions, paranoia, vocal ticks, pacing, running away – the list goes on.
It was terrifying for all of us but especially terrifying as a mother because I became scared of my own son, didn’t like who he’d become and was basically just trying to keep him and myself alive.
He was due to be starting school this year and yet here we were imprisoned in our own home with a child who had basically become “possessed” and gone crazy overnight.
My clever little boy went from recognising his numbers and letters to not being able to hold a pencil, count to 20, or remember the names of our friends. He stopped being able to put on his own clothes or hear “no” without tearing the house apart – he would hit me and tell me he hated me.
Doctors told me he was autistic, had ADHD, was oppositional, maybe even had schizophrenia – none of this helped because they didn’t understand how and who he was before.
People started to distance themselves from us and other children were scared of my otherwise happy, popular little boy. Certain teachers were the worst and the judgment and lack of care broke my heart.
Then luckily we came across an amazing paediatrician here in Sydney called @drleilamasson and suddenly my mother’s instincts were heard and I felt less alone. We had a diagnosis – PANS.
We started down a path of working with a team medical and psychiatric specialists – neurologists, integrative paediatricians, chiropractors, energy healers, kinesiologists, psychologists and OT’s. I consciously chose to only expose him to people who saw him (the true essence of who he is) as beautiful, whole and healing. A brain map scan showed that his brain was literally on fire with inflammation and he tested positive for Strep, mycoplasma, mould illness and a bacteria eating at his brain called Bartonella.
Unfortunately most children with PANS/PANDAS are misdiagnosed as having psychiatric illness, behaviour problems or parenting/family dynamic concerns. Many go through a number of psychiatric medications and therapies with minimal improvement, and sadly many get progressively worse.
My son has had many major relapses but now 18 months on we are starting to see some improvements as we strengthen his immune system, heal his gut microbiome and detox from mould and Bartonella.
It’s been a highly stressful, lonely, heartbreaking and expensive journey. And for the friends that have remained I’m forever grateful. It’s hard to watch his old friends struggle to understand what’s happened to their old buddy and it’s hard to pick up the phone to call a friend when you are afraid you are falling apart.
Thank you for reading this post to the end and if you know of someone with a child with PANS just know that when we say, PANS is hard, we mean it is really really really hard. Trust that we need your kindness, support and encouragement more than ever.
When it comes to relationships, it’s hard to think of a term that has caused more eye-rolling in recent years than ‘self-partnered’.
Self-partnered individuals challenge the notion that you need to have a ‘Fairytale ending’ to feel fulfilled and happy in your life. That ‘happily ever after’ can only mean finding your prince or princess and living in domestic bliss until the end of your days. And that if you don’t follow this path, you’re destined to a lonely life holed-up with a house full of cats.
The eye-rolling isn’t helped by popular celebrities using the phrase self-partnered to justify entering their 30’s single or after a ‘conscious uncoupling’ from a spouse.
In truth, being self-partnered is less about your relationship with others and more about the relationship you have with yourself.
Carla Marie Manly describes self-partnering as, “Focus[ing] on the ideal of being happy and complete as a solo individual. A self-partnered person would feel whole and fulfilled within the self and does not feel compelled to seek fulfilment through having another person as a partner.” Put simply, it’s, loving yourself enough to stop chasing things that are beneath you, things that are outside of who you really are.
Neglecting to partner yourself throughout your life can lead to unhealthy, unbalanced relationships that drain you of your energy and find you living from the outside in. That is, living by societal values and pressures rather than your own internal values.
In contrast, living from the inside out empowers you to live your truth. It’s learning to put our own needs first.
Robert Morely wisely said, “To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness”. Only when you can commit to honouring your own needs, healing your wounds and working towards self-actualisation do you have the capacity to allow others into your heart-space. Melanie Tonia Evans describes this perfectly in her self-partnering practice “How does someone who is not happy within themselves behave? The answer is simple – not happy with others.”
So many of us have unmet emotional needs. Either from childhood, past relationships or friendships.
As children, most of us are taught to obey and follow the lead of our parents and teachers. We’re told what to think, feel and do. At some point we begin to develop our own sense of identity and with it, an awareness of our inner truth. For some of us, we are able to build ourselves up, learn to develop thoughts and actions that are expressions of our inner identity. We can live actively, with a sense of control over our situations and the ability to seek fulfilment from ourselves. In other words our behaviours and values are congruent – self-partnered.
For others, living inside-out takes constant work. It’s easier to default to negative patterns of behaviour, reacting to external factors and allowing ourselves to be controlled by others. We get hurt, we consider ourselves victims of circumstance and we call others into our lives to heal past pain or to fill an emptiness we cannot fill ourselves.
It doesn’t matter what your relationship status is, partnered, single or otherwise, if we haven’t done the work to put ourselves first, it’s going to show up in our relationships.
For those in relationships who are not self-partnered, it can have devastating effects. If you are constantly feeling insecure, less than, not good enough, it will show up in your relationship and both of you will suffer.
Couples who have transferred the responsibility for their own well-being to their partners can have catastrophic effects. It causes blame and conflict, it diminishes the self-worth of the individuals and the relationship and ultimately, becomes a loop of frustration and pain. If the individuals are not self-partnered then they “will struggle to be grateful for what someone else does for them, they will have difficulty believing acts of love are genuine, and they will be giving to get and keeping score rather than being authentically generous themselves.” (Melanie Tonia Evans). This is because their inner belief system tells them “I am not lovable”.
Challenging the common opinion, being single is not the choice, being in a relationship with someone other than oneself is.
Individuals who are not self-partnered are likely to have relationships that either don’t last, or remain toxically unhappy. When they are single, they believe the only remedy is to search for another relationship to ‘find happiness’. When in fact, they should be focusing on their most important relationship of all – the relationship with themselves.
In contrast, a self-partnered individual is best positioned to build a successful and fulfilling relationship. They invite people to love, connect to and treat them at the level they love, connect to and treat themselves.
Many of the amazing women I work with have lost connection with themselves and their emotional needs over their lifetime. The natural inclination of women is to put the needs of everyone before their own. This results in a slow decay of the relationship with self, a loss of their truth and in many instances a loss of happiness. They fall out of love with themselves. They may have attracted toxic friendships, they may have been taken for granted in intimate relationships, they may feel disrespected and invalidated.
At The Inner Shine Clinic I support women to come back home to the truth of who they really are. To move beyond limiting beliefs, and really connect with the divineness within. For it is only when you truly believe you are enough that everyone else will feel and treat you accordingly.
By Catherine Nyika, Holistic Counsellor, Certified Accredited EFT Practitioner, Clinical Social worker & Inner Shine Coach
“Be bold enough to use your voice, brave enough to listen to your heart and strong enough to life the life you’ve always imagined” – Anon
Lately I’ve been struggling with using my own voice and expressing myself fully. There is an underlying fear of being seen and being heard. It’s been a steady companion for me on my journey through life even when I’ve tried to wave it on. People might find that hard to believe when they see all the videos that I post on Facebook and Instagram, but the struggle is real.
Maybe you can relate?
As I look up from my desk I can see the three words I carefully selected with deep intention to carry me through 2019. Words that would motivate and inspire me to show up for myself and other women in ways I find challenging. One of those words is “SPEAK”.
To ‘speak’ is different from simply ‘talking’. When we speak we:
Say something in order to convey information or to express a feeling
Talk to in order to reprove or advise.
Ever hear that saying “speak your truth even if your voice shakes?” It’s like I want to speak up about something and then I freeze.
“What if people think I’m too much? Maybe I’ll look too pathetic? What if they don’t like it or disagree? What if I say too much? What if I share too much? What if I speak and then I want to take it all back”.
What if, What if? It’s very tiresome.
So, I’ve been reflecting on the numerous times throughout my life I was terrified to share my voice, to speak my truth and questioning my limiting beliefs around speaking. I’ve been remembering the painful experiences where I did have the courage to speak up and it didn’t end so well.
In my family of origin – “you’re too bossy and dramatic”,
At school – “you’re too opinionated and boisterous”,
At work – “you’re too enthusiastic and aggressive, you should know your place”,
And in intimate relationships – “you’re too demanding & selfish”.
I’m sure you too can recall moments where you chose to speak, and then immediately regretted it – flashes of humiliation, fear, punishment, shame and exasperation all wrapped up with a side of unbearable vulnerability. Fantastic!
It got me to thinking: With the feminine rising, why is it that so many amazing strong and brave women I come across both personal and professionally (including myself), STILL struggle to speak up and share their authentic voices? I have done much inner work & EFT Tapping over the years to dissolve my limiting beliefs (inherited as well as self-taught) and if I still hold back on sharing my voice, just how many other women fear activating their voices and what needs to happen in order for women to feel safe to use this powerful instrument we have been gifted?
Voice suppression is central to women’s history. Being unable to tell your story can destroy our souls and literally put us in danger. Even today it’s a reality that women no matter how much they succeed and find themselves in positions of power, still suffer from an addiction to making other people happy, more comfortable and not causing a fuss.
Recently a gorgeous, successful, high achieving client of mine was sharing with me her disbelief that she had questioned her herself and her own voice even when she felt she was in danger. She was out walking on her own when she came across a man lurking in the trees with what appeared to be a dangerous weapon. Her body gave her all the signs that she was in danger, her gut told her something was really wrong and although she got herself out of the vicinity instantly, she questioned her own judgment of the scene she witnessed – did she imagine it? And then her conditioned mind checked in with all the questions:
Was she overreacting? What if no one believed her? Who should she tell? Would she inconvenience the authorities and her husband (who was trying to nap) if she called them?
She doubted her own body and mind and felt powerless to speak up. After some time she did what she knew was the right thing to do and called the police – after thinking it through and checking in with her husband first for validation and reassurance. She was shocked at the way she doubted herself and shut down her own voice and felt embarrassed to share that with me.
But here’s the thing, even though so many of us have been trained to not bother people and not ask for help, our stories matter, they are important and sometimes they save our lives. There are way too many of us out their listening to the noise of the world, tied to the gender borders or boundaries of the past, instead of listening to our own voice and our own soul. I experienced my own voice paralysis earlier this year at a kid’s birthday party. I was there with my 4 year old who was off playing whilst I chatted with some of the mums, when a man I had never met before approached me, and started a verbal attack on me. According to him my child had knocked over his daughter intentionally and he wanted to have it out with me. Over the course of the next few minutes (although it seemed like an eternity) he verbally abused me and my son, calling him a ‘disturbed animal’, ‘unfit to be at parties’ and that I was a bad mother who is negligent for sitting down to have a cup of tea when I should be watching my son’s every move. He was wagging his finger at me and shouting right up in my face, cornering me but away from the line of vision of everyone else was so that no one could witnessed this interaction.
Writing this now I can see this for what it was – an explosive, over-protective father with anger management issues who “flipped his lid” watching this incident unfold, which is of course something that sometimes happens between kids. At the time I was so shocked, embarrassed and humiliated and I crumpled into a massive shame spiral. I froze and I lost my voice. I wasn’t able to speak up for my son or myself. Chances are it wouldn’t have made any difference anyway with someone like him but for weeks afterward, I lay awake at night thinking about all the things I ‘could have’ and ‘should have’ said to him. Some of those things would have been witty retorts designed to emasculate him unknowingly and others would have resembled physical actions copied from “Black Panther”’s elite female warriors of Wakanda.
Instead, I waited until he had left and I cowered in a corner sobbing in pain and distress. When I debriefed with girlfriends about this incident over the next few days, they all made the same comment – “he would never have done that if you were a man”. If my son’s dad had been at the party instead of me, I know that scene would never have happened. I was woman, and a woman of colour too, in a moon-boot (I had injured my ankle) alone and vulnerable – the perfect prey. I felt intimidated, offended and small. I lost my voice because there was a part of me that was terrified that maybe he was right about my son and I. I wasn’t able to use my voice to explain to the host what I had experienced because I didn’t want her to feel awkward and uncomfortable and I also worried that I was being over dramatic – after all, he “only yelled in my face and verbally abused me and my son at a party we were invited to”.
As a holistic therapist and a practitioner of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) I am fascinating in uncovering what keeps us women from expressing ourselves fully and why we still get blocked even after centuries and centuries of repression. I have supported and guided 100’s of women on their journey towards self-love, emotional freedom and personal growth & expansion, and three of the major common blocks I see to uncovering the power of our voices are:
Disconnection from self
External validation, being accommodating/people pleasing
Family narratives and societal conditioning
Disconnection from self: Sadly so many of us are disconnected from the truth of who we really are. We don’t know how to love and accept ourselves just as we are in the here and now. We compare ourselves with others in real life and on social media, and we willingly let society determine what the definition of womanhood is. Many of us feel defective and lacking, inadequate, weak and incompetent. We are afraid of standing out and lack the confidence in knowing that our feelings and opinions matter or make a difference.
Keeping other people happy: We hold back our voices in order to keep others happy and because we have a deep-seated fear of losing love, admiration and respect if we speak our truths. We care about what others will think of us so we think carefully before we speak. The external validation we get from others meets our needs for acceptance, belonging, connection and affection. Why would we risk feeling accepted by others in the world (which is what we do when we “speak up) when it’s easier to go along with the crowd and be who people want us to be? We choose to stay quiet to avoid confrontation. Women are also notorious for always apologising, for everything. We are still apologising for existing in the spaces we find ourselves in today.
Family narratives & Societal Conditioning: Our family narratives are stronger and more powerful than we realize. For example I grew up the middle child, the only girl with four brothers – the only one with her own room. It was the 80’s and I had a sticker on my bedroom door that said “Girls can do ANYTHING” and yet any time I spoke up, voiced my opinion or objected to something that didn’t feel inclusive to me, I was labelled “a drama queen”, “Miss Piggy”, “too much”, or a attention seeker. My father used to get really cross with my brothers if they didn’t do their best on a test but he always seemed just grateful that I had passed. My educational outcomes didn’t seem as important to him as my brothers. He also seemed more frustrated with me if I voiced my strong opinions compared with my brothers. When your truth is dismissed as wrong, invalid or irrelevant, especially in childhood, you often just stop talking. Those conflicting narratives of “girls can do anything versus “don’t be too opinionated and take up too much space” had a very powerful influence on my limiting beliefs – it was not safe to “speak up”.
AND it’s not just me – the voices of many women and young girls have remained repressed, unheard, ignored, undermined, marginalised for centuries. Sadly, there remains in our DNA, the internalised scars of a dialogue around who is allowed to speak, what can be said and who will listen.
An amazing woman once said of us women “we are volcanoes, when we women offer our experience as our truth, as human truth, all the maps change. There are new mountains”. When we choose silence over expressing our voice, we all suffer. It time for us to uncover the power behind our voices. Of course you can choose to believe it’s much safer to keep quiet because it takes courage and vulnerability to speak up but I’m called to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves – How about you?
I’ve known it’s my calling to use my voice as well as my therapy skills and expertise to help empower other women who feel they have lost their authentic voice. That’s probably why I was destined to became a Social Worker. I’m hear to champion women who are sick and tired of feeling way I felt for most of my life. Not worthy… Not good enough… Invisible….. Ignored…
No longer will we deny our own voices and our own needs. We demand to be heard and seen because our voices matter.
So how is it I can help women like you unleash your voice when you feel unheard and unseen?
I help women release the emotional and physical blocks in the body that prevent them from sharing their voice and their stories by using EFT Tapping. If you are new to EFT tapping please refer to my other blog post: Post on EFT
To begin to release your blocks when it comes to “speaking up”, go ahead and try this tapping script as you tap on the acupressure points as referred to in the picture:
Tapping script:
Side of the hand: Even though I’m feeling a little unheard right now and my voice feels blocked, I accept myself as I am.
Even though I struggle to speak my true authentic voice at times, I honour my voice even in my silence.
Even though there are situation that really have me feeling afraid to speak my voice, I’m open to loving and accepting myself anyway.
Top of the head: I feel my voice is blocked
Eyebrow: I feel afraid to speak my voice?
Side of eye: I deny my own voice out of fear?
Under the eye: What would they think of me?
Under the nose: What if they don’t believe me?
Chin: What if my voice doesn’t matter?
Collarbone: What if I feel vulnerable and embarrassed?
Under the arm: What if I speak my voice and they alienate me, what if I’m not even heard?
Take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth
Back to the top of the head: All these fears about speaking my voice
Eyebrow: It makes sense I feel afraid
Side of eye: It’s hard to take risks and I’ve regretted it in the past
Under the eye: But my voice is important
Under the nose: My voice matter
Collarbone: I’m worthy of having my feelings, thoughts and opinions heard and validated
Under the arm: I choose to speak my voice even if it shakes
Top of the head: It is now safe to share my voice and so it is, peace.
Take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth
I’d love to hear how that was for you. EFT Tapping is amazing and has changed my life in so many rich and rewarding ways.
One last message for all you beautiful women out there who struggle to unleash the power of your own voice:
“You are important and you matter,
Your feelings matter,
Your voice matters
Your story matters,
Always”
If you would like to find out more about how to work with me, please contact me at: [email protected]
This is a fantastic blog post I thought you might like to read. I feel humbled that the author mentions the work I do and how I’ve helped her on her journey. She was very happy to share it so you could also benefit from her journey. Enjoy!
By Catherine Nyika, Holistic Counsellor, Social Worker, Educator and Certified EFT Practitioner
As I write, Marie Kondo Mania is sweeping across the world like a tidal wave and little old Bondi, in Sydney, Australia, is no exception. Just recently I stopped to pick up a girlfriend who had been struck down with the Kon Mari bug, on our way to our weekly social netball competition. As she slumped into the passenger seat I couldn’t help but notice she seemed forlorn, and melancholic. She shared with me she was feeling exhausted, and a tad irritated which is out of character for her. I wondered if the “Super Moon” was impacting on her moods as I also had found myself quite irritated and agitated during the week. “No – I’ve been Marie Kondo-ing my house, it’s so intense”, was the response. As I sighed deeply, out of my mouth came the words, “Oh no! Not you too”!
In case you’ve been asleep the last few months, the famous “KonMari Method” for de-cluttering your life has made it to Netflix with the touching and inspiring documentary series entitled: “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.” Over the eight episodes of the show, renowned tidying expert Marie tries to help overwhelmed people de-clutter their homes and in the process, their lives too. Each episode follows a different family with varying life stories and situations, desperate to make changes to the chaos of their homes; there’s the ‘empty nest’ couple whose who have spread themselves across the entire house since the kids have moved out, the young couple with toddlers trying to stay on top of the daily grind and keep their relationship alive, and the middle aged mother of adult children trying to move on after the death of her beloved husband. Rather than focussing solely on throwing things away in the attempt to de-clutter, which can only cause unhappiness, Marie Kondo asks the families to hold each item in their hands and agree to only keep those which “spark joy”.
My friend had spent the day going through the tidying of all her old photography boxes and found herself caught up in the visual reminders of where she “could’ve”, “would’ve”, “should’ve”, and “didn’t” pursue things, people and places in her life. The process of de-cluttering and letting go of the remnants of this time in her life had left her feeling sad and torn between the ‘holding on’ and ‘letting go’. No joy was being sparked in this challenging exercise. So, maybe this because my friend had not followed the Kon Mari ‘ideal order’ in which you tidy up (she had mistakenly placed her photos under ‘paperwork’ instead of ‘sentimental’), OR is it because letting go of anything symbolic, with the love and grace required can just be so incredibly hard?
Similarly to the participants in this documentary who live life inside a house jam-packed with ‘stuff’, many of the amazing clients I get to work with find themselves constantly distracted living a life jammed packed with ‘emotional stuff’ that just isn’t ‘sparking joy’ for them. The only difference is that rather than asking me to help them organise the mess of the house, they take me for a tour around a messy head jam-packed with self-sabotaging, self-limiting and self-defeating internal clutter. This is where I am in my element.
Instead of drowning in closets full of clothes never worn and cupboards overflowing with Tupperware, the clients I see may find themselves drowning in;
Regrets from the past that cause guilt and worry
Long-term projects still to be completed
Deadlines for work
Unrealised dreams, goals and ambitions
Blatant reminders that their relationships with partner, kids or friends are suffering
Or ill health that they recognise is a result of on-going stress and overwhelm
There’s no doubt that living in a home that is free from chaos, clutter and disorganisation offers us a sense of peace and ease, so why is it that we really struggle to establish or want to establish that same sense of peace and ease within our own emotional lives? Just Image the joy that would be sparked by simplifying and organising our lives by getting rid of the mental and emotional clutter of anguish, stress and overwhelm. You know what I’m talking about, the negative inner mind chat you’ve been experiencing every damn day, the voice that tells you; you will never be good enough, that you will be ‘outted’ for the fraud or imposter you are at work, that you are not truly deserving of the good things in your life!
Just like the Kon Mari Method for de-cluttering your home, sometimes all you need is a road map or a formula to help you to de-clutter the chaos in your mind. This is where I turn up to give you that road map necessary to access an emotional and mental breakthrough, and in the process, bring the joy, peace and ease back into your life. That road map is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and it will change your life as it has mine.
In my Sydney and online based Holistic Counselling and Coaching Clinic, The Inner shine Clinic, I often talk to my clients about learning to “come home to yourself” – a self that feels at peace, at ease and de-cluttered from outside unhelpful noise as well as internal negative dialogue. Of course we all walk around with our wounds, our memories, our traumas and our losses. We then make sense of our lives through our live experiences, helpful or otherwise. It’s natural and normal but just like your physical home, things get messy and chaotic when you don’t make the time to go through all the ‘stuff’ you have stored up inside your mind. Many of the experiences, labels and beliefs we keep stored up in the attics of our mind have been stagnant and gathering dust for some time. Even when we no longer need to hold on to the stale old energy, deep in our sub-conscious we believe there is actually a benefit to holding on, to staying small, to staying stuck to the mental clutter. It takes courage to transform and burst out of the cocoon, new, raw and vulnerable – sometimes if feels safer to stay stuck where we are!
I want to share with you my ‘takeaways’ from my own recent Kon-Mari experience because I believe it highlights why de-cluttering for peace and ease should be about the ‘inside job’ rather than how things appear aesthetically on the outside. Like many other women around the world, I caught the Marie Kondo virus. It was a mild case and to be honest I got only as far organising the clothes for the family (which took me two whole days), before I decided to chuck in the towel. I found myself getting annoyed, overwhelmed and irritated, thinking “what’s the point”, “nobody will appreciate my efforts” and “it will all be a mess again in no time”. Also, surprisingly there arose in me some deep seated, suppressed angry towards my partner who I told myself, didn’t feel a calling to do HIS share of the load because he believes the tidying and organising is MY DOMAIN. The noise in my mind told me he was only willing to cheer me on from the sidelines. This internal dialogue inside the messy house in my head was too big to contain; very quickly I perceived that my core need for gender equality was being deprived, I felt triggered, out of control and I was fast running out of ‘joy’ for the project. My powerful mind in just one thought had convinced me that my partner was out to cause me suffering! Like many things I’ve had to face in my life, my mind wanted to give up before it got too hard, to throw that unwanted emotion on the pile of mental clutter building up in my internal home.
Fortunately I have in my back pocket the powerful tools of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to use as a road map for organising my mental anguish. EFT helps me stay curious to the strong emotions that I experience. It enables me to radically shift my stressful beliefs about my life and other people rather than internalise negative belief systems that are unhelpful and usually have no proof to validate their perceived power over my life.
Stagnant clutter whether it is energetic, emotional, mental, physical or spiritual, can prevent you from creating the life you want and deserve. Through the gentle process of EFT we ‘tap’ on a series of nine points that activate key body meridians. By giving voice to the tape that’s already playing out in your head while tapping these specific points, you can release tension related to those repetitive negative thoughts. When you can welcome a nurturing place in your mind where you have permission to acknowledge the struggles and stress in your life, with out criticism or judgment (as you do in an EFT session), you will respond to inner healing processes more efficiently and productively. Once you are able to release anxiety in relation to the issues that distress you, you too will have room to reframe the issue, see it from a fresh new perspective and see a way to move forward instead of staying stuck and punishing yourself with unhelpful internal dialogue.
So can you admit that all this noise in your head and all your past pain in storage in your heart don’t “spark joy” in your one beautiful life? Time to realise that your internal wellbeing is far more important than the appearance of your external home.
So why do you stay stuck in the emotional clutter, when you could Marie Kondo your internal home too? Now that the house is organised, it’s time to become practiced at the art of organising mental and emotional clutter. Open the door to the clutter and blockages inside your busy mind and asked yourself if certain feelings, issues or people in our lives are truly sparking joy OR if they need to be gently thanked, let go and removed?
If you would like to:
Feel more relaxed in your internal home,
rewire the limiting cognitive dialogue of your exhausted brain to enable a change in mindset and
restore your natural energy back into your wonderful body so you can
relieve negative feelings, emotions and physical ailments that originate from the energy disruption you currently experience;
Then it’s time to experience my favourite strategy for clearing your mind clutter and other negative emotions, quickly and effectively. Head to the website homepage to book in at The Inner Shine Clinic to learn the Emotional Freedom Techniques that will finally set your mind free. Availability for new clients now:https://www.theinnershineclinic.com.au
By Catherine Nyika, Holistic Counsellor, Social Worker, Educator & Certified EFT Practitioner
“Atelophobia”; [A-tel-o-pho-bia] the fear of imperfection. The fear of never being good enough.
Nicola* arrives home from work and crumbles into a heap on the sofa. She longs to pour herself a large glass of wine but instantly remembers that her New Year’s resolution was to avoid ‘unwinding’ with alcohol and besides, she knows it’s not great for her waistline.
Nicola’s best friend has suggested she try out this great yoga class tonight to help easy the stress and overwhelm, but the thought of yoga or meditation makes her squirm as it challenges the fragile part of her that doesn’t like stillness and always wants to get things ‘right’.
“What if you can’t do it and you embarrass yourself in front of everyone”, the voice of the inner critic screams silently. Nicole doesn’t go. She can’t bear to feel worse than she already does.
On the outside, Nicola appears to look like she has it all together. She needs you to think she has it all together because anything less than that would be a failure. She’s always been a high achiever, determined, focused, reliable, and motivated. Her friends would say she has the “ideal perfect life” on paper and is hitting all her targets at work and appears to balance work and personal life with ease.
At work Nicole realises she is a bit of a people pleaser. She has a desire to do well and an overwhelming fear of the consequence of not doing well. She feels great when she is approved of and affirmed by her boss but feels completely shattered when she doubts her performance is to the best of her ability. The illusion of “always needing to appear strong and capable, have it all together and be in control of everything”, (especially her emotions), has taken its toll on Nicole. It’s impacting on her physically, mentally and emotionally and she’s burnt out due to constant worry, fear and doubt about whether she is good enough. It’s become harder and harder to deal with the setbacks in her life and she realises its now interfering with her significant relationships.
Perfectionism or what I like to call “I’m never enough-ness” effects so many highly successful women, perhaps just like yourself. In a world where women can do anything and everything, strong women want to seize every opportunity to shine. When you are a self–directed perfectionist, you tell yourself, it’s not ok be mediocre, or vulnerable, and that it’s definitely not ok to share your inadequacies, insecurities and disappointments.
The dark side of having extremely high standards and being constantly so hard on yourself is that it can lead you down a path of anxiety, depression, and addictions. “I’m never enough-ness” fuels fears, procrastination, frustration and disappointment. It seeks to crush your self-esteem because the reality is, you just can’t keep up. This is what happened to Nicole*.
If you relate to any of Nicole’s story, I can help support you to get your life back on track with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Coaching and Holistic Counselling. By combining talk therapy and tapping on acupressure points, I can help you to gently let go of your core beliefs around your worth, your value and your “enough-ness”. You can rewire your mindset for self-love, self-acceptance and “enough-ness”. Learn how to restore your body’s natural energy so you no longer feel overwhelmed or burnt out.
It’s time to truly know that you were not made to be perfect and that you are amazing as you are. You were made to be authentic so stop striving to live up to some preconceived notion of what ‘success’ looks like. It’s the imperfections that make you and the things around you beautiful.
By Catherine Nyika, Holistic Counsellor, Social Worker, Educator & Certified EFT Practitioner
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello” – Paul Coelho
As we close the door on another year, what are you saying hello to in 2019?
Here are some Inner Shine Clinic suggestions for you:
Hello to backing yourself no matter what
Hello to being courageous
Hello to stillness
Hello to letting your light shine on the world
Hello to self-love….self-acceptance…..a love affair with yourself……
If you are brave enough to let go of what has held you back and frustrated the hell out of you in 2018, amazing things lie waiting for you, this I know for certain. In 2019 its time to say “hello” to your gorgeous new self!
It’s so tiring to constantly compare yourself with others, you kid yourself that the ‘perfect’ people I see you following on instagram really do have “the best life ever”. Perhaps you see the life you long to have but you tell yourself, it could never happen to you, it’s out of reach. Admit it to yourself, it’s soul destroying to consistently berate yourself for not sticking to that diet, for shouting at your kids, ‘screwing up’ at work, or struggling to maintain relationships with others when you feel so exhausted all the time. Are you sick of always feeling that you are not good enough, clever enough, successful enough – just not enough! It’s ENOUGH! Things have to change because you are and have ALWAYS been amazing and more than enough, just as you are, right here, right now.
So dear one, are you committed to saying goodbye to the things that just don’t serve you anymore? New energies are coming into your life and all you need to do is say goodbye to these 8 things that have held you back in 2018.
8 Things to say goodbye to in 2019:
Trying to please everyone: it’s not your job to make other people happy and you can’t please everyone, all the time, so stop it!
Living in the past: you can’t prevent, fix, stop, change what has already happened so stop ruminating on the past and let it go – you can however influence your future and create the energy you would like to move towards.
Over thinking: our precious brains do so much for us and sometimes they are relentless in their quest to make us feel like absolute losers. Thank your mind for alerting you to something that is worrying it and give it permission to take a break. Feel into your body, the truth of what is really going on. Try to live in the present moment rather than over-think the past or worry about the future. When you say goodbye to over thinking you will also be saying goodbye to suffering.
Fearing change: to start a new chapter in your life, you have to finish one first. Change can be hard, I get it, but staying stuck where you are is even harder. Change needs to happen in order to grow. You’ve outgrown the old ways and you know it. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or Tapping is a fantastic tool for helping shift your fixed mindset if your fear of change is too overwhelming.
Being afraid to be your authentic self: Brene Brown says “authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are”. Close your eyes and ask yourself, “Am I truly being myself”? Have you been covering up your true self and being who you think others want you to be since you were a young child? When you don’t feel free to be “yourself”, dis-ease shows up in the body. It’s your body’s way of telling you “hey, I’m not happy, I feel like a fraud”. This year I finally embraced my authentic self and it was the most freeing and liberating experience. Go on, I dare you to be bold! Start “doing YOU”!
Thinking you are not good enough: you have internalised this old negative message for way to long! Perhaps you learn this limiting belief from your family, a teacher, someone you trusted when you were too young to even comprehend that it wasn’t even your belief to take on! Your journey to self-love will be on-going but this is one message that needs to be eliminated right now! You are enough, just as you are, full stop.
Sacrificing your happiness for others: when you say ‘yes’ to meeting another’s needs for happiness, you are often saying “no” to your own precious needs. This is something that women in particular have done and have been expected to do, since the beginning of time. There is a difference between whole-heartedly wanting to make someone else’s life more wonderful and compromising your own needs. When you “sacrifice” your happiness, it comes at a cost; to you AND to the person you are putting first. That cost can manifest as resentment, anger, disconnect, isolation, stress and many other negative symptoms. In 2019, you are putting your needs first!
Thinking you have no purpose: We don’t all need to know our true life’s purpose in 2019, but we do need to say goodbye to the notion that our lives won’t contribute or serve any purpose because it’s simply not true. In 2019 I invite you to explore what lights you up. If you are not waking up feeling excited about your day, if you are in a job that isn’t fulfilling you anymore, if you find yourself surrounded by people who bring you down, or if you are ignoring your dreams because you are afraid of change, the chances are that it’s time to reconnect to your hearts purpose.
A gentle EFT session to kick-start the year will guide and inspire you onto your path of finally living your best life in 2019. I’m so excited for you; it’s going to be an amazing year!
To learn more about how EFT can support you to really say goodbye to the things that held you back in 2018 please email me at [email protected] or check out our website.
By Catherine Nyika, M.Ed, Accredited Social worker, Counsellor, Coach & Certified EFT Practitioner.
I need to confess that I am a podcast junkie! I listen to an episode of an hour-long podcast at least once a day and my all time favourites will be on rotation dependant on my mood. You may find me listening to a podcast as I fold up laundry, whilst I do my daily exercise, as I drive to work, as I cook dinner, and sometimes as I wind down from my day and get ready to sleep. The right podcast at the right moment can; motivate & inspire me, it can offer me a different perspective on a problem I may be experiencing, it can provide me with information on a random topic I knew nothing about, it can make me laugh till it hurts or when needed, it can touch my heart and help me release some much needed tears of emotion.
Podcasts have grown in popularity, drawing listeners in with the narrative style of media allowing us to feel as though we are in some way personally connected to each story. As of 2018 there are over 525, 000 active podcasts and many of these have highly engaged audiences who stick around for a long time. There is research showing that audiences are more likely to retain detailed information when it is delivered as part of a narrative via a podcast rather than simply listening to a list of facts alone because us humans tend to think in stories.
As someone who works within a helping profession my podcast library leans heavily towards the self-help/self development section. Podcasts have helped me through the darkest moments as well as affirmed the joyous moments experienced when I feel my best self, recognising how far I’ve come in my own healing journey. I am not afraid to share my podcast library unlike my Spotify playlists. In fact, you might find me at a dinner party sharing my most telling and intimate podcast library with a total stranger. Every time someone views my library and then recommends another podcast to me I subscribe straight away because I choose to see it as a sign that there is a gift hiding inside one of those episodes, just for me. “When the student is ready the teacher will appear” (Buddha). Yet in a time when our smart phones are having a pernicious influence on us thanks to social media overload, the ever faithful and uplifting podcast in my library serve to keep me connected to my humanness and also my pursuit to see and be the good in the world.
So, without further ado, I would like to share with you ten of my current favourite self-development podcasts in no particular order (because that would just be too challenging):
1.Super Soul Conversations with Oprah: “Who is Oprah”, said no one! Who doesn’t love this podcast, seriously? Oprah gets better and better with age and with this podcast she seeks to “awaken, discover and connect to the deeper meaning of the world” around us. Her choice of guests and topics just inspire the hell out of me. She hand selects the most influential thought leaders and spiritual luminaries in the world to share “a-ha moments”. Oprah asks “big” spiritual questions of all her guests including “what is the soul”? I like to practice my answers, should I ever receive the call that Oprah wants to interview me. This podcast is guaranteed to light you up and “bring you one step closer to your best self”.
2. Under the Skin with Russell Brand: The Russell Brand I remember was an obnoxious drunk who moved from one volatile destructive relationship with another celebrity to the next. This Russell Brand will explode your brain. I sometimes have to listen to an episode a couple of times in order for the depth of concepts to truly ‘land’. These conversations with Brand’s guests get very intellectual and deep. If I could recommend just one episode to you it’s the one with Dr. Gabor Mate (renowned addiction and childhood trauma specialist) discussing what happens when damaged, traumatised people lead the world and alludes to a certain US president. It’s a fascinating episode and well worth making time for.
3. Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert: If you haven’t read “Eat, Pray, Love” then you’ve probably watched the movie I’m guessing. Author of “Big Magic” and “Eat, Pray, Love”, Elizabeth Gilbert hosts a brilliant, inspirational podcast where she helps aspiring creatives to overcome their fears, their creative obstacles and empowers them to “create more joyfully”. There is a little magic in every episode for everyone. This podcast really helped me to “show up for myself” as I moved into private practice, which was what my heart was calling me to do.
4. Kind World: This is a gorgeous, uplifting podcast with short 5-10 minute episodes featuring stories that will remind you that the world is a good place (something we need to remind ourselves of when we are in a bad space in our own lives). When I listen to short stories of the kind, selfless and caring acts of complete strangers, then I feel inspired to shine my light and be an active participant in this “Kind World’. A delicious podcast for people who feel they don’t have much time for podcasts!
5. Live Awake: I just need to say; I am SO in love with Sarah Blondin creator of Live Awake. Once when my friend an I were trapped in a 75 minute post Ed Sheeran concert traffic jam with our tween daughters, I put on a couple of episodes of this exquisite guided meditation and everyone (apart from me as I was driving) was lulled into a blissful sleep. Sarah has the voice of an angel. She composes gentle spoke word reflections alongside grounding music and guided meditation in order to bring you back home to yourself. If you struggle to unwind at night with too many thoughts and inner critic dialogue pushing you down, then you need this podcast in your life. Of “Live Awake” Sarah says: “It is a place where one can come to close their eyes and rest a while on their breath, and see all they trouble and toil alongside is truly a gold lined cloud, holding a message of great hope and learning cradled within it”. Ahhhh, divine!
6.Low Tox Life with Alexx Stuart: If you would like to improve your health and wellbeing whilst being ethical and sustainable, then this podcast is for you! Host Alexx Stuart is down-to-earth, warm and just so real. Her podcast rejects the notions of perfection (yay!) and is a relaxed and curious dialogue with guests rather than a “this is the right way to live” approach. I love the way you don’t have to be a complete vegan hippy to get something out of this podcast in order to start feeling more awesome about your health and wellbeing. The topics covered are fascinating and vary from mind happiness to fashion, life coaching, sustainable foods, inflammation to energy healing and modern mystics – this podcast is never dull.
7.All in the Mind ABC RN: I am fascinated with the mind/brain/body relationship and the connections with our behaviours. The therapist in me is drawn to this radio programme podcast as a passive form of continued professional development. Some episodes are highly scientific, some are very personal but all are very interesting. Some very important topics discussed include; The art of empathy, mothering and mental illness, preventing suicide and the mental health of refugees, which is a topic very close to my heart.
8. Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel: I’m new to this podcast and I love it. A friend with great taste recommended it to me. If you’ve ever had a problem with a relationship (and who hasn’t?) then Esther is your go to therapist. Esther is a Belgian psychotherapist who explores the tension between the need for security and the need for freedom in human relationships. She is recognised as one of “the most insightful and original voices on modern relationships”. In her podcast “Where should we begin”, Esther lets us listen in on couples’ real and unscripted consultations – hmmm, a bit voyeuristic I hear you say? It says more about me than it does about you really! Needless to say, this makes for juicy listening especially when couples learn new things about each other during a session! I think this podcast allows us to feel less alone in the world and that we are not the only one out there with relationship issues. Perel is a master in what she does and she inspires me to be a better therapist.
9. The Art of Authenticity with Laura Coe: I know the word “authentic” has become a bit of an annoying buzzword, but it’s what I’m striving for in this world – the quest to be more honest, more vulnerable, and more REAL in my life. The Art of Authenticity is “a real-world guide on navigating a life of meaning and success, despite what life throws at you”. This is also the intention behind my private practice, The Inner Shine Clinic in many ways. Laura interviews many amazing thought leaders, authors, entrepreneurs and CEO’s on what being authentic means to them. Guests speak to their failures as well as their successes and there are subtle lessons for all of us to take into our own lives. Some great episodes include: “Can a single act of compassion make a difference? The answer is yes”, “Are you racing through life without experiencing stillness” and “Are you afraid that you will be Self-Absorbed if you are true to yourself”.
10.The Tapping Solution with Nick Ortner: As an EFT Practitioner I get so much value from this podcast for myself as well as recommending it to my clients. In this podcast Nick covers topics such as Tapping for clearing a traumatic event, Tapping for loss and Grief and many other important issues. In between coming to clinic for 1:1 support, you can tap along with Nick as he guides you through meditations and conversations on relevant issues. The Ortner family are doing great things for spreading the word on how life changing and helpful Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can be for people wanting to make significant, long lasting changes in their lives.
So there you have it, my top ten podcast picks, for the moment! If you have any suggestions or recommendations for podcasts that have inspired you or supported you through tough times, then please reach out to me at: [email protected]
In case you’ve been asleep the last few months, the famous “KonMari Method” for de-cluttering your life has made it to Netflix with the touching and inspiring documentary series entitled: “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.” Over the eight episodes of the show, renowned tidying expert Marie tries to help overwhelmed people de-clutter their homes and in the process, their lives too. Each episode follows a different family with varying life stories and situations, desperate to make changes to the chaos of their homes; there’s the ‘empty nest’ couple whose who have spread themselves across the entire house since the kids have moved out, the young couple with toddlers trying to stay on top of the daily grind and keep their relationship alive, and the middle aged mother of adult children trying to move on after the death of her beloved husband. Rather than focussing solely on throwing things away in the attempt to de-clutter, which can only cause unhappiness, Marie Kondo asks the families to hold each item in their hands and agree to only keep those which “spark joy”. 
